Happy Friday!

Good Morning All,
It's Friday again, and this weekend is 'The Great Cowart Birthday Cookout Celebration (2006)'!! I'm excited to make the trip up to see everyone, because it's always nice to be able to reconnect with the fams.

I had a kinda weird experience over the past few weeks. I live in a low income neighborhood ('le ghetto'), and since its summer lots of the kids are aloof and wandering around playing wherever they can without getting into trouble. -I had been gardening a few days ago, and doing some major re-planting 'till I got a call and needed to go inside to take it. When I came back outside I found this neighborhood kid (who I hadn't previously met) pouring concentrated fertilizer on my succulents! Now that isn't such a big deal except it kinda weirded me out that this stranger kid was about to be killing off all my plants (since the concentrated fertilizer has to be added to water & diluted)....Well, I immediately asked him to stop and explained why. I wasn't mad or anything just kinda weirded out. He then just kinda stood around on the (small) porch not saying anything. I figured that he must feel strange, since little kids are kinda strange or awkward to begin with...(heh, j/k) having an adult type person catch him on their porch. After a little while of silence I asked him if he was interested in doing some gardening and introduced myself. We had some sporadic conversation as I showed him how to plant seeds and told him some of the history of my porch container garden. He seemed mildly interested, and after half an hour or so, he felt more comfortable and asked more questions about the plants and such. I was all too happy to explain wayyyy more than he was really asking for. I guess I was trying to conjure up some interest in science & plants in him, or at least some conversation. I gave him several little pots with seeds and gave him specific instructions on how to maintain either a container or outside garden. I was trying to keep it simple and interesting, but his feigned interest really made me unsure of how I was doing (like if I was draggin on or being too technical).
Anyways (that whole dragging on thing...heh), he started coming around everyday or every other day, and would come like 4-5 times a day banging, and I mean banging not knocking on my door to ask for things -more seeds, pots, soil, cat food, or change. Well, I was a little annoyed at his knocking style, or lack thereof (because I sleep during the day), but I just let it go. -I don't usually get annoyed with kids, because I like & want to be patient and accepting. You never know what someone is or has gone through, and I like to keep that in mind when dealing with kids, and anyone really.
Well, he started bringing friends over to my porch and they would hang out when I was away at work or sleeping during the day. I then basically discovered that some things were missing from my porch and they were directly planting related. That really freaked me out. I suddenly didn't trust this stranger little kid anymore. I understand being strange in childhood, but him stealing things from my porch and bring people over when I wasn't home and then coming over and asking Gete & I for change was really the final straw. I felt slightly violated & sad, and was imagining the worst; little kids all bomb-rushing my porch and taking my valuable (only to me) plants! I decided that to be comfortable in my own space and to protect my meager porch possessions that I needed to be direct and confront him, which really kinda made me uncomfortable.
So I did and it was interesting. I simply told him that I knew that several things were missing, and that I didn't want them back & I wasn't upset about that, but more that after extending kindness that he would come back and take things without permission. I also mentioned that he wouldn't like if I took something from his room/house, etc. I made sure that I asked him if he understood where I was coming from and also I reinforced that I wasn't tryin to be mean or nasty, more that I was just disappointed in him. His reaction gave away how he felt, he immediately put his head down, offered to return the pots & soil, etc, and seemed truly upset with being confronted with it. I felt bad just looking at him!
I told him he was welcome to come around when I was home and to please (out of respect) not take my things without permission. I also told him that I still wanted to hear how his garden was going and that I wanted to know about his new kittens. I tried to let him know that he was still welcome, within reason.
Since then Gete & I have had a few random children coming over asking for change & kitten food, etc. I barely have enough kitty food or change for myself, and I'm not trying to run a children's house, so I have to kindly decline (honestly I'm usually broke & my kitty eats special PH food, which I unfortunately really cant afford to share). This really makes me feel bad, because if I had the money or resources I wouldn't care about giving it away, to children, the homeless, or others. I am of the mindset that once I decide to give money away I don't care what its used for. I've given money to people that I knew where going to go get drunk or whatnot, because I could tell it was important to them, and I wasn't going to hold that against them. If I lived on the street, I might want to drown my harsh daily reality with drink too. Once it has left my hands, and I have made the informed decision to donate it I just let it go and give it away (mentally).
I once thought that I would always want to have bread & change or ones on me at all times. The change or ones for homeless people or others in need who asked or simply needed it, and the bread to feed birds (or really in dire situations the homeless or needy people), but I figured at least I would always have something on me to give. This hasn't always worked out, I have been hitting financial rock-bottom recently from not being employed & just trying to get everything back on track, and have had to use/keep any change or otherwise for my household, which includes bread money. But one day I think I would like to work something out like this. Maybe keeping some change & simple canned foods on me in my car or something to that effect, or maybe like a situational preparedness kit.


Hmmmmmm......Something to think about.
Much love to all, Hope you all have a great Friday & I look forward to seeing you on Sunday!!
-P